Truth be told, I had a livejournal. And it was the best. I was an angsty teenager with things to blog about and blog about them I did. I got to put my mood in, what music I was listening to, everything. But enough about that; this is serious business.
I guess I'm starting this as a means to somewhat document this huge change I am about to go through--becoming an adult (?). Well, I'll qualify that. I may be an adult in the eyes of the government or "society," but who knows when and if I will actually become an adult human. I mean, I am moving to Chicago to do improv. I feel like, there's not much that's overly adult about wanting to go and play and laugh a bunch. So that's good, I guess. Prolonging the inevitable or something.
Things are definitely starting to change and wrap up. Most of my younger friends have left school for the summer and I'm still straggling behind. This week-before-graduation thing is just maddening. I'm stuck in this limbo-place where I have to stay until I get to move to Chicago.
June 1st June 1st June 1st June 1st. I am excited for this change in my life, but I feel like it is overshadowing the things I will miss here. Over the course of this year, I have become increasingly frustrated with life at Clark and the way things are sometimes operated. I hate the Theatre Department and the lack of opportunities I found there. I kick myself for not pursuing different majors that would have given me more (both as a credible degree and intellectually).
But I think I am using my frustration to hide from myself the things I will truly miss when I am away from the oddity that is Worcester, Massachusetts.
This year, I have become so close with so many of my friends from EMS. It has become something I truly enjoy doing and will really miss when I am gone. I already miss the insane amount of shifts I was taking...as Toby said, the weight of the radio is somewhat of a comfort; it just feels right to have that with you.
Of course, life is going to be so different without the Peapod Squad. For four years of my life, I have had a family here that I could go to in order to vent any problem or sorrow, to celebrate any success or joy. Throughout my time here I have depended on these people--these friends, this family--to get me through this experience with a positive attitude.
All in all I am thankful I came to Clark. What I ended up hating in terms of my major, I found through other outlets. I would never have done EMS anywhere else. I don't know if I would have found my love of improv without the Peapod Squad. I really wouldn't be the person I am today without having gone through the experience of being a weirdo Clarkie.
I think one day soon I'll be sad about missing all of these great things, but for now, that has yet to really hit me.
Graduation is coming up soon and I know this next week will go incredibly fast once it gets going (It's just so strange not having every hour of the day blocked out with things to do!).
Grace graduates this weekend and I will be going home to celebrate that with her, Molly (who will be coming home for over a week!!!!!), and the Mother. I am so grateful to be a part of the best family I could have possibly found for myself. The encouragement and love I have received over the past years has been nothing short of amazing, and I am so happy to know such generous, caring people. I don't think there is any way I could ever fully show my gratitude.
Enough of the mushy stuff--I have to start packing up my life so I can prepare to go home and see some family!
Catch you on the flippity flop,
Kaylie
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